Welcome to NOWHERE

I've discovered the locals...or they've discovered me.

I rushed over to grab a few last minute food items on the 4th (since we'd determined late in the day that we'd be staying in for the evening) and of the 2 grocery stores in town, I determined that the Piggly Wiggly was closer than Bi-Lo. And, since it was 5 minutes til 6pm, I figured it to be my safer bet.

OK...this is the smallest grocery store I'd EVER seen. You know how you go into a primary school and all the furniture is teeny and you suddenly feel like a giant in who-ville? Yeah...it was like that. The store was tiny, and the fixtures were old...and if you've never noticed that store fixtures got larger over the years...I'm here to tell you. THEY DID. It felt like I stepped into the twilight zone. Oompa Loompas probably stock the shelves after dark.

When I finally get to the register...the cashier gives me the raised eyebrow, but a friendly smile. Clearly I don't appear to be 'from these parts' but she is welcoming.
And while I'm placing my items on the conveyor, she asks me "You got a pig card?"

Ummm...what?

"Excuse me?" I say, clearly puzzled, then it dawns on me that she must be talking about a savings or discount card. I am in the Piggly Wiggly after all...duh. But do they call it that, seriously? A PIG card? *sigh* Another board meeting I would have loved to have been present for...

Chairman PiggleWilly: OK guys...Any ideas on a name for our Piggly Wiggly discount card?

Guy #1: "How about 'Swine Savers?'"

Guy #2: "Oooh! How about 'Hog Hoppers?'"

Guy #3: "....Hmmmm. 'Pig Card?'"

Chairman PiggleWilly: *speaking over oohs and ahhs from Guys #1 and 2** "Yes! That's it! How CLEVER!!! You get a raise, Guy #3! Good work little piggie!"

Cashier: "DO you got a pig card?"

Me: "Ohh, sorry. No. I just moved to the area. I've never even been in a Piggly Wiggly before."

Cashier: "Would you like to get one? It only takes a minute to fill out..."

Me: "Sure, I guess. I'll probably be back from time to time, since the store is so close."

Cashier: *turns to far end of store and yells* "TOMMY!!!!! GET ME SOME PIG CARDS! I AIN'T GOT NO MORE!"

Me: "Ummm...that's ok, I can just get one next..."

Cashier: "TOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!"

Tommy: "mumblemumblemumble" (from somewhere in store)

Cashier: "WELL, THERE AIN"T NONE UP HERE!" *looks at me and rolls her eyes*

Tommy: "OK!"

Cashier: "So...you moved to Union....on purpose?" *eyebrow raised*

Me: "Yes"

Cashier: "Uhhh...WHY?"

Me: "Well, my husband and I have a family now, and we wanted a larger house, for a cheap price, in a small, quiet town. And that lead us here."

Cashier: *raises eyebrow a little further...as if she's waiting for me to laugh and say "No silly...I'd never move HERE!" and laugh loudly*

Me: *both eyebrows raise, challenging the girl's state of mind, pondering if she's just young and ignorant, or a total wackjob...*

Cashier: *In a loud and eerily friendly, but deadpan voice* "WELL! Welcome to Union. You'll never have ANYTHING to do. EVER. AGAIN."

Then she raises her eyebrow and smiles...sort of.

Me: "Heheheh...ummm. Thanks."

*sigh*

Small town teens. Gotta love em.