The Inobservant Man
Myself.
4 inches, chopped off, first thing this morning after my shower. And it looks good.
My husband is getting ready for work and walks by the doorway just after I've finished. He looks at me and mumbles something about Nate.
I wait.
He looks at me again and mumbles something else...still clueless. At this point, there is a giant pile of hair on the counter in plain view and I'm thinking 'Holy Crap!' It amazes me how long it takes him to notice things. I don't really get mad, I just enjoy messing with him. For example...yesterday, I wore my glasses crooked for 1/2 an hour before I finally had to tell him they were crooked (and I mean really crooked-like the bottom of the frame was blocking my view in one eye-crooked. When I pointed it out, he swore I was making it up to screw with his mind...*sigh*)
So I say with sarcasm and a smirk..."You are the most inobservant man...evarrrrr." Then I smile at him.
Him (annoyed): "What?"...and not in that genuinely curious tone, but that...tsk! I don't know what the hell you're talking about but why are you looking at me like that?' tone... you know the typical man tone.
Me: "Nevermind. (laughing) You'll figure it out eventually..."
This, of course, gets his full attention, because if there is one thing a man cannot stand, it is to know he has been accused of MISSING something.
Him: "WHAAAT?"
Me: "Nope...you'll figure it out eventually." (enjoying the moment with an over-abundance of giddiness)
Him: "FINE, Melissa."
HAR! I'm dying at this point trying not to laugh at him.
Me: *SIGH* "I'll give you a hint, Captain Observant." (and I point to the big pile o' hair two inches from me on the counter, STILL in plain view)
Him: (eyebrow raised) "What made you decide to do that?"
Me: "I got tired of the ends feeling so dry and I've been too sick to go get it cut."
Him: "Hmph..."
(men, right?)
So then...my husband decides to dangle his life like a flailing bunny on a rope in front of a starved alligator...and says...(get ready)... "Ummm, that did come off of your head, right?"
Holy Crap. 4 inches of hair on the sink in front of me. 4 inches!
Let me just say, I might have been sick for a month and be a little overdue for my trim 'down south' ...but I do not/have not/will never have THAT much hair on my...umm...hoo-haa. NEVER.
Me: *simple death stare, left eyebrow raised to emphasize threat...*
Ever wonder why men have a shorter life expectancy than women?
posted by Mo at 8:42 AM
2 Comments:
As a member of the branch of humans that took the rash step of droping the tail of one of their X chromosomes, I protest. Your husband wasn't being obtuse, just fact checking. As a husband, one never knows when wifey will stage a pop quiz. Since our very lives hang in the balance, it's safer to take nothing for granted.
Sorry about the last comment poster... BR never knows when his life's balance might just be tipping!
Not to mention, it is completely a conversation we could very easily have had.
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