Can somebody please shut this thing off???

Someone recently asked me if I was "Random." And by that she meant 'do I blurt out random thoughts at odd moments?' Well, I guess I would best describe myself as a neat freak trapped in a cluttered mind. Every time a closet door gets opened in my brain, a bunch of junk topples out.

Seriously ...come to think of it, the most common question my husband asks me: "What brought that up?" Perfect example of how my brain works: I'm getting ready for work, and I say to Dan "did you know some theaters make their popcorn ahead of time and keep it in big trash bags...and then dump the bags into the poppers at slow times of the day so that you see all this popcorn that you 'think' was just popped, but really it was made the night before? Man! I hate stale popcorn! I learned that little secret from my friend, Dru in college, when he worked at the Galleria theatre."

By the time he asks me "What the hell brought that up?", I realize I have to explain my thought process of how I got to whatever random blurb popped out of my mouth, which sort of sounds like this:

"Well, I looked out the window and saw a squirrel, digging in my flower bed, probably burying a nut, and I thought 'Man, some peanuts would be tasty right now.' but then I realized I don't have any peanuts, just peanut butter, not really in the mood for that...mmmm...peanut butter and honey, spun honey...how do bee-keepers not freak out? I mean, Really! I could not stand in a swarm of bees and not freak out and start flailing around...especially if I got stung...and they get stung...alot! I wonder if they have bee nightmares? I had a bee nightmare once, I dreamed a yellow jacket was hiding in my dad's t-shirt drawer and was gonna sting him when he went to get dressed in the morning. But that wasn't as bad as the dream I had about the wind-up chattering teeth biting me on the back!! Man, was that the worst! I know it was because my mom bit me to 'teach me a lesson'... just because I bit my brother when I was two years old. What the hell? Who bites their kid? She says 'well, you never did it again!" There's no telling what traumatic repressed emotions have festered due to that memory...Stupid mom...I wonder how she's doing...Man, I wish she'd quit smoking. They use smoke for bee-keeping...that's kinda cool...and those boxes they keep the bees in make good book shelves-minus the bees, of course...I wish I had more than two...I don't know any bee keepers in the area, probably wouldn't give up any of their boxes anyway...they do make good book shelves...I haven't read my book in days. Great! now I don't remember what was even happening. I'll have to start over...again. I'd like to read Good Omens again...except my friend still has it. I can't believe they didn't make that into a movie! I haven't been to the movies in a while...I don't even remember the last movie I saw. Has it been that long? man, I could go for some movie popcorn right now...mmmm. Except the stale-day-before popcorn. Whatever happened to Dru, anyway?? He always brought us fresh popcorn from the end of his shifts at the theatre..."

"Anyhow...that's why I was thinking about popcorn. You wanna go see a movie this weekend?"

Sometimes I wish my brain had a 'standby' switch...